Greeting Cards

Thanks, Ike:

Dark Side Greeting Cards………

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
And now that you’ve come into my life…
(Inside card) – …I’ve changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
(Inside card) – …I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
(Inside card) – …that you’re not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
(Inside card) – …will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably
need it again.

Someday I hope to marry…
(Inside card) – …someone other than you.

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
(Inside card) – …almost lifelike!

When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
(Inside card) – …now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your

We’ve been friends for a very long time…
(Inside card) – …what do you say we stop?

I’m so miserable without you…
(Inside card) – …It’s almost like you’re still here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
(Inside card) – …Did you ever find out who the father was?

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only
one life jacket…
(Inside card) – …I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
(Inside card) – …So we’re having you put to sleep.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi,
and Arkansas)

Looking back over the years we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
(Inside card) – ..What was I thinking?

Congratulations on your wedding day!…
(Inside card) – .Too bad no one likes your husband.