My buddy, Kevin, sent me these. I've only included two of the five he sent.

Number 4
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics... He asks her
about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It says that
American Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are the best in
bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" "Tonto Papadopoulos,
nice to meet you."

Number 2
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome
the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home.
His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's
wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."