Thanks to Kevin for this one! He's always good for quality humor!
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,
good food, and companionship...
she goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds...
hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere...
but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said...
so I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands...if I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit
down!"... So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me
"In the lake."
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?"... The driver said "No, jump in!"
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right...I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months...
I don't like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
...I said "Dust!"