Thanks for this, Demo.

From the state where drinking and driving is considered a sport comes
a true story from Milwaukee, WI.

A routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar. Late
in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated he
could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few
minutes with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed An eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles he managed To find his own car, which he fell into. He was there for a few
minutes As a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the
hazard flasher, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and remained
stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their
vehicles.

At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started driving slowly down
the street. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time now;
started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly Pulled the
man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his amazement,

the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol
at all. Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me
to the police station, apparently this equipment is broken. “I doubt it,”
said the man, “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad? The
man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use
them to have safe sex.” “Oh I see,” replied the boy. “Yes, I’ve heard
of that in health class at school.” He looks over the display and picks up
a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?” The dad
replies, “Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday.” “Cool” says the boy. He notices a 6 pack
and asks, “Then who are these for?” “Those are for college men,” the
dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.” “WOW!”
exclaimed the boy, “Then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12
pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, “Those are for
married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…….”